What’s new, spent majority of my waking day binging and purging. Everything smells like vomit- my fingers, the bathroom. How fucking delightful.
Binging during a depressive episode makes me feel even worse, and perhaps even prolongs the duration of the episode. I don’t know why I even do it. I know I’m going to feel like utter worthless shit afterwards, yet I continue to binge and purge.
When my mood is “up,” starving is ridiculously easy, and brings one hell of a load of satisfaction. I only made that link recently, and have been pondering whether or not any significance lies in it.
Right now I’m just waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel to turn on. And when it does, I will run towards it as fast as I can.